[sayings / german-english] [sayings / english-german] [words / german-english] [words / english-german]


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..::Urgent::..

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official
language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year-phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".


In the first year, "s" Will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants
jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced
with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.


In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the lanquag is disgrasful and
it should go away.


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer,
ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.


Zer vi I be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze
drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


And after ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.


;-)


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